shouts of joy

I've been reading this incredible book, Moments With the Savior by Ken Gire. It's a devotional of the life of Jesus. I recently finished reading through Jesus' childhood and this morning opened to, "Intense Moments In The Desert" the story of 40 days in the wilderness. Such a familiar story... blah, blah... 3 temptations... blah, blah... stones, a temple, bowing down. When I reread it today I questioned Jesus' motives for the 40 days and nights, the starvation, the tempations. Besides proving he was strong enough to resist Satan, what was Jesus getting from it all? He never heard a single sound from the heavens in all 40 of those long, lonely days. The first temptation must have been easy to resist. Stone to bread? Please... Eventually hunger can be ignored, after a certain point you don't even notice. The second temptation must have been easy too. Jump from the highest building, test God's power to save... but when you're that tired why would y...

 Tree hunting. Good name.  Brother playing in the snow.      Sugar cookies and a sister.   

Tuesday morning I did what I like to do sometimes when I have a big test. I dragged my sore body out of bed at 5:00, threw on some clothes, and grabbed my spanish books, macbook, and car keys. It was windy with slanting rain that hit my coat on the way out my front gate to the car. I drove to Starbucks and walked in from off of dark Main St. at 5:32 on the dot. Mel was there sitting in his chair. It was good to see that things hadn't changed so much with the latest remodel. I slung my bag onto a table and took a seat next to him. "Tina, where have you been?... What's his name?" He joked (clearly). "How's Emily? Is she still in Africa?" Such pertinent questions, no wonder I like him, every time I see him it's like no time has separated us. We talked for sometime sharing bits and pieces from the past 2 months. "Tina, something I want to share with you." Ah, he's so wise, the wisdom he offers is worth a lifetime, a debt I could never repay...

*Peacing out before the pyramid on water skis* Blood comes from the heart. It brings life to the large body, carrying oxygen where it's needed. Moving through the valves, ventricles, chambers and vessels, anxious to escape the rigorous cavity and explore the rest of the body. In a matter of seconds it will be right back where it started. But what if the life giving liquid doesn't want to go back to the racing beat of the heart?

What if the automatic flush of a toilet is a camera? It watches you to know when you finish, then it flushes. I believed it when I was young. It was a job, people in charge of operating the flush. A flusher? But when I use the bathrooms in Kretchmar and the toilet flushes on its own, I always wonder, are there flushers watching me? It get's me every time. But that's not as scary to me as the fear of the metal button on my jeans attracting lightning. Crazy schools teaching naive children that lightning is attracted to metal... I still think about it.

I went to a mellow, Sabbath evening, Christmas party tonight. It was held in a warm home of a close family of four. The one rule for the evening was simply no speaking. And so for what seemed like hours we sat in our own silence observing each other (which was better than making small talk at the late hour) with soft music in the background. The homestead shared stories and musical talents danced through the house, all the while, the cozy group bunched inside. We sang Christmas carols in one accord. (I love the singing and the music. I’ve always begged to have carols sung at home during the holidays, unfortunately we’re a musical bunch but we can’t seem to play the same tune.) But the awing voices brought holiday cheer, I just wish the holiday season was like that everyday (Although, I suppose if it were, there would be nothing special about the season). When the singing faded we sat again in silence, some with heavy hearts, most just heavy eyes. Now I find myself sitting alone in ...

The devoted few who have been so inclined to know me all the way down to my magmas core, know that I sigh deep sighs in the face of anxiety and stress. It's the few that know because it happens once in a blue moon. As many know, this week is a dreadful time in any students life, the week previous to finals. I've never felt the impact so hard as now, I have been a pushover, or a flakey scholar who let's finals slide by without much fret, but this time it's been different. My job has been my haven this week. The kids are excited about Christmas and during lunch we've been watching Santa Paws, a Christmas film. "Teacher Kristina you sound just like the little dog in the movie," this coming from Sevin a spunky 3rd grader. "I do not." "Yeah, sometimes you say things just like him...'Okay guys let's sit down,'" Sevin impersonated the high-pitched dog voice from the video. "No you don't teacher. You sound more like this,...

Yesterday Loki came back to my desk again, held in one hand was another handwriting sheet. (It happens everyday whether I'm there at the beginning of the day or the end.) Every so often I play like I'm sleeping "zzzz, zzzz, zzzz" then he plays along and taps me to wake me up, but yesterday he came running back with a little more enthusiasm (Oh no!). "I'm here to turn this in. Here!" He flashed his paper towards me. I dropped my head in my hand, this time faking a whimper. Then his voice dropped, "But it's not finished.... But I have to turn it in now, cause Mr. Hall told me to." When I looked up I held my hands up and said in sarcastic distress, "Ah, man.... What am I going to do with you?" "You're going to sell me to the Egyptians." Bah, ha, ha! I laughed so hard. I have no idea where that came from. But we laughed so hard.

I sat alone at the awakening this morning. I like to go and sit alone, turn off the phone and listen to the singing and the sermons. Sometimes the music is too loud, but sometimes (like today) I get lucky with the softer songs and really enjoy it! The past four weeks have been a series of sermons about "The Elephants"in our lives. Today's was suffering. The offerings over the past four weeks have gone towards purchasing 5 water buffalo for 5 families in Africa. Today's offering was for the suffering. "Look to your left. Now to your right. Don't you see the suffering around you? Today's offering is for the suffering. Give to the suffering and if you feel the need, take for the suffering. If you have a car sitting in the parking lot and you can't afford to fill it, take. If you have a big bill to pay this month and don't know where the money will come from, take." So the idea was to give, but also to take. My eyes strangely began to fill an...