shouts of joy

When I was in India I got hot weather when I wanted cool weather. Now I have cool weather, but I want hot weather. I got bananas when I wanted oranges. Now I have oranges, but I want bananas. I got yellow when I wanted red. Now I have red, but I want yellow. I received a lot when I wanted little. Now I have little, but I want a lot. I got a hot drink when I wanted a cold drink. Now I have a cold drink, but I want a hot drink. I have action when I want rest. Now I have rest, but I want action. I left when I wanted to stay. Now I stay, but I want to leave. I got this when I wanted that. Now I have that, but I want this. I wish I could get this and want this Instead of getting this and wanting that .

"The Spirit thrives when it is free and nourished." - P. Evans It's believed that in order to change we have to strive. Almost like earning the right to change. "Work crazy hard and then you can have what you want." Or "You'll be blessed if you try really hard to be good." But maybe it's simply being in the presence of love, where one finds what it is to be changed into himself. To be defined. To be real.

The First Triathlon Swim: .5K Bike: 20K Run: 5K Number: 109 (that's what she's writing on my arm) Time: 1:29 (Bah... I can only beat my time next year) Conclusion: Feels good to succeed without any expectations. But my sore muscles could use a massage... : )

First step up the staircase - We spend 13 years in school on the same step wondering why we need to be in school (contemplating how to dodge another 4 years). Finally we take a step to go to college (maybe, maybe not). And another step to fill out an application (job, SM, another college). Then we have an interview or two - another step or two. We take a few steps as we gain knowledge about ourselves through classes, mentors, friends, and experiences. Then there's a huge step after being accepted for that job, SM position, or other (more prestigious) University. We wonder how we got there and how we'll take the next BIG step when it comes. Some steps are easy. Others we kind of get pushed up. And some look ridiculously too far up. Sometimes we take HUGE steps to prove we can, and other times we take the steps that please us. Sometimes I wonder if I'm taking the steps to happiness or the steps to rise above and prove. Yesterday the 3rd and 4th graders had doughnuts to celebr

"How did I meet you?" He asked. His face clearly aged spoke the words in a feeble voice, seeking a sincere answer to his heart breaking question. "Honey," she replied to her husband of 96, " you wrote me a letter. Do you remember?" He laughed at the ludicrous memory. "No... I don't think I can remember. Tell me again." He had written her a letter at 73 years, a good friend of his knew her and had recommended he get in touch with her, a kind widow of 45. She received the letter in her mailbox at the Girls Dorm at Mt. Ellis Academy, but caught up in work she placed it in her desk where it was neglected. Two weeks later she flew to College Place, WA to visit her daughter for Mother's Day weekend where she received a call from him, in her daughters dorm room. He said he would meet her at the vespers program and that he would be in a blue blazer with his hair parted down the center. They met in the Walla Walla College gym in May 1987, his blue

3 weeks before it's over forever. A gray start with a colorful ending. And before it's over there's still fun to be had. Midnight cinnamon roll baking. Fresh mountain spring bath. Late night frisbee. Open Mic night. Fruit soup night. Trekking the windmills. Weekend climbing trip. Body printing. Night bike rides. Pool parties. Long weekend at Priest. So don't tell me it's over. Because it's not. Not Yet!

Many things today, from centuries ago, have been rebuilt. Rebuilt because they were crushed, vandalized, abandoned, or just aged. They have crumbled to the ground and lost important pieces to the dust. But when they're rebuilt those missing pieces are replaced, the pieces that were once so important to the structure have no room. After the restoration of the structure, it's beauty is more glorious, it's strength is more mighty, it's rooms are much more plenty, and the old architecture is much more appreciated. What we thought was rubble is now an enchanted piece of art.

Maybe I'm stuck in the gooey mud, or standing on the edge shaking in my boots. But I see a blog with the word "God" and I dodge it faster than butter on toast. I think about going to church but quickly dismiss the idea of listening to ANOTHER sermon. I want to be included in deep, solid, conversation, but if it's "God" then I'll slip out the back door. Prayer? It's too quiet. Sermons? So cliche'. God? Too mysterious. Where do I find a new side of God? An exciting, refreshing and quenching sermon, prayer, blog, or book. God, if you're there, I need a breakthrough!

My family was here this weekend. After they left this afternoon I felt a little lonely. I like my family because we laugh, we take turns, we understand, we joke, we listen and we love. But tonight I found myself with family. A full table of food with warm enchiladas and spanish rice, every seat taken, a sincere blessing, laughs, understanding, sharing, joking and love. Good friends are good family! Thanks friends!

The talk of town has been "mothers". So I've been reflecting on my own mother. We talk a couple times a week, some weeks she's the only one who get's me through. I call her when I'm stressed, worried, upset, broken hearted, excited, angry, or surprised. She's the first to know. I've been thinking about how my mother's role has changed over the years. Years ago I came to my mom to scratch my back, rock me to sleep, praise my art, play barbie, appreciate my bug collection, quiet my growling stomach, solve math equations, soothe my tummy aches, and calm my tears. Somedays I wish she was here to scratch my back and rock me to sleep.

Deviance: (noun) to depart from the norm or accepted standards . Today I want to be deviant.