Give and Take

I sat alone at the awakening this morning. I like to go and sit alone, turn off the phone and listen to the singing and the sermons. Sometimes the music is too loud, but sometimes (like today) I get lucky with the softer songs and really enjoy it! The past four weeks have been a series of sermons about "The Elephants"in our lives. Today's was suffering. The offerings over the past four weeks have gone towards purchasing 5 water buffalo for 5 families in Africa. Today's offering was for the suffering.

"Look to your left. Now to your right. Don't you see the suffering around you? Today's offering is for the suffering. Give to the suffering and if you feel the need, take for the suffering. If you have a car sitting in the parking lot and you can't afford to fill it, take. If you have a big bill to pay this month and don't know where the money will come from, take."

So the idea was to give, but also to take. My eyes strangely began to fill and dumped over the edge of my lower eye lid. When the offering basket passed me it was filled to the brim. No takers? Why not? The sermon began. I muddled in my own suffering. If I suffer, why didn't I take? First of all, I don't deserve to take. Secondly, can this suffering of mine even be considered suffering? Unlikely. Not like I've lost a close relative, have a friend with cancer, or feel my life coming to an end, sure there's an empty gas tank and bills, but its not the same. Thirdly, if I took anything, people would see, they would talk, how embarrassing. So instead I sit in my suffering, alone, not offering much, but not taking.

So the sermon began... "God never envisioned suffering. We chose it. Now we suffer. There are 3 types of sufferers. Those who suffer, those who suffer more, and God." I heard it come from the front, then began to wander again. "If you want to get rid of your pain throw it away. Trust Him. Trust Him to take and then trust Him to give peace." We have to GIVE these things to God and then we have to TAKE what he gives back. So funny that the whole offering thing was all about that. Giving to God our pain, and then taking what He had to offer. Good thing I missed the opportunity when the offering basket came around. The sermon ended and the praise team went up to finish and the lights went black. A voice came from the front directing us to give and take again. I began praying for trust, to trust enough to give it up and then trust enough to take His offering. It was a killer to my pride. But a humbling lesson.