seize a friend and fly away

A poster I saw at Pike's Place this weekend.
I'm SO ready to fly there. 

Carpe Diem

"Be happy, happy, happy, And seize the day of pleasure" - Robert Frost

I was talking with my friend Eric, whom I co-direct programming with for MiVoden, this weekend on our trip to Seattle. He was talking about looking at everything for the first time, really living in the present. He challenged me to go outside and look at nature without thinking about what I've known or been taught about it from the past, or what I think for the future, but to look at it for what I see now. I love that. So, today I went for a bike ride and looked at everything for the first time. The only problem is that there are too many things, so to prevent any possible anxiety I quickly looked at the Blue Jay flying past me. I wondered why God created him with such a long tail, why his colors were a mix of white, blue and black, or how many feathers did he have. Just really looking at him. There's so much to be seen today. Why look at yesterday or tomorrow, when all we need is encompassed in our life today.

Ego Amicus

"We create ourselves by our choices." - Kierkegaard

My small group met last Tuesday and before we end each hour together we choose something we are going to work on for the following week. This week I chose to really put more energy into being a good friend and engaging in the relationships I feel are worth investing more into. It hurts when a friend tells you that you're not a good friend. Or when they feel like you don't care anymore. Or when they think you're trying to be something you're not. It makes me feel like I'm not trustworthy of being a dependable friend, I start doubting myself and my genuineness. I've been sensitive to the issue, and the hearts involved, but I think it's time to be emotionally logical (if there's such a thing) and quit allowing myself to be guilted. Logic says: sometimes we grow apart, sometimes we can't keep investing when we're talking two different languages, but that doesn't mean I can't love, or don't care, because I do. So it's my choice to trust myself, that I am a good friend. My choice to not be driven by guilt. My choice to love whatever and whoever I want.