shouts of joy

It's almost 11 and I want to go to bed, but I have a big lump. You know those lumps that keep you from talking and sometimes, even breathing? The lumps that get stuck in the bottom of your throat. The lumps that turn a smoothly iced cake into a lumpy, gross mess. The lumps that make a soft bed look uninviting, or a hairdo seem untamable. I got stuck with one of those lumps tonight. I was frustrated and I tried to gulp it away, but it wouldn't budge. Now, hours later, I'd like to pull my blankets over my head and hide, where I'll stay forever. Or, maybe just another throat with a lump, who understands.

I was skeptical of my summer job. Disappointed with myself and my failure to jump the highest. Now I look back on the past 10 weeks... Although I was not the best program director and maybe I didn't finish the race first. Every mile marker left a huge dent. Every mistake was polished. Every week is clearly defined. There is something that stands out. Today I got a huge package from a family camper with probably 25 books. What a guy! There are so many awesome families! Why have I not seen them before? Man, God, you are just full of great gifts! I thought this summer would be a huge mistake, but it's been a huge turning point instead.

Constant + Passion = Happiness

I've been reflecting on the Sabbath lately. Sabbath isn't the same at camp as at home and I really miss it. I'm ready to prepare my meals and clean the house again on Friday afternoon. I'm ready to welcome the Sabbath on Friday evening with praise songs and prayer. I'm ready to sleep in on Sabbath morning and have my quiet time with Jesus until I go to church or out into nature. And later have good friends over for an afternoon of lunch and games, not to worry about anything until Saturday night. Sabbath I'm ready for you! I'm currently looking for more ways to make the Sabbath special. Any ideas?

So this week was a week of God revealing His HOLY plans. "Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you. Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you." - Jeremiah 1:5 21 years ago God knew that on Wednesday , August 11 , 2010 I would be transitioning from a holy week at Priest spent with two awesome friends to the rest of a holy summer spent at a summer camp. He knew on this day I would open my eyes to the passions he placed inside of me, recognize my fears, and step away to follow his calling. Holy plans. They are real and happen when we search and wait. PS - I'm so excited to start my Elementary Exploratory class in a few weeks.

It's getting blurry as the nights images seem to disappear in the morning light. In my sleep I found myself walking down the aisle to commit to holy matrimony. Each step I took I saw someone before me who reflected selfishness, superiority rather than equality, lack of respect for myself and a difference in interests, yet someone successful, positive and well liked by many. I told myself I could live with this life before me. The decision is mine I thought. This life would be cushy and allow me to experience a lot, it wouldn't be easy but I could make it work. But part of me so desired the connection with someone who would listen, commit, love, work hard, respect, collaborate and enjoy me. So I turned and ran from the alter. Even if my expectations are too much I'm happy with the decision I made. So this week has been a time of exploring and adventure with LOADS of contentment .