| | Pause | |

We don't need a reason to pause and reflect on our humanness. Yet, maybe we do. Because it is important. If we're not searching our hearts and cleaning out the dust how will we see out the window? Or invite someone in for a cup of tea? I'm aware that as a society, we function by means of techlations (a term I've invented for relationships in the form of technology). We can't possibly sit in silence for 30 seconds while we wait for a prescription to be filled, no, instead we are building stronger techlations through hundreds of social media opportunities. Might as well move to a hot-spot cave where we can focus on our techlations and not feel so burdened by external (real-life) relations. In fact, my heart is heavy because I'm not sure what happened to real-life relations. I'm not sure why I can't find a face to engage when walking through the grocery store. I'm saddened when I see parents on their phones while their kids run unruly and seemingly unsupervised throughout the restaurant. Where have we lost our genuine relationships? Maybe it's time to pause, for a very good reason. 

Last Wednesday I was substitute teaching a 5th grade class when a boy asked me, 

"Ms. Rhuman, what is Ash Wednesday? It says that today is Ash Wednesday and I think it is because of Pokemon and the character Ash, but what do you know?"

My heart becomes sore for the lack of understanding my young Christian students have about their fellow Christians in ministry and the traditions that have been strong spiritual practices for so many years. I gave him the briefest definition of Ash Wednesday that I could during dismissal, and he still seemed clueless and careless of the day. 

Now, it's my turn to ask myself what is Ash Wednesday, what is the significance of Lent and the purpose of my spiritual practices and the significance of others'. I have observed Lent for several years on all kinds of scales of commitment, but this year it is a part of my personal devotions and has become a higher priority.

"Lent is a pause button. It is a quiet unlike any other time of year, Lent is a season to close your eyes as the busy world buzzes around us, to consider those things we'd much rather forget and our sins and our humanity. We came from dust and to dust we will return. Lent is a time to reflect on our fallen state and our gaping need for a savior. Lament and acknowledge your wickedness, knowing He has already done all that needs to be done to grant you "perfect remission and forgiveness." (SheReadsTruth, 2015)

As I consider my sins and my humanness I am humbled. I am disappointed with my lack of repentance, my lack of trust, and worse my lack of desire. As I began this season of || Pause || a few days ago I was reminded of an important piece that had a huge impact on my life forever. In the 10th grade I had a teacher who had posted up in his classroom a giant poster that read: 

The most HE could do is die for US. And the least WE can do is live for HIM. 

It's a phrase that has lasted over 10 years and has guided my life so clearly to a dedication to service. Yet, there are times I forget. So may this Lent be a time to || Pause || and remember. 

"Stop fighting for your own rights and taking care of your own needs.

Let me do that for you.

Trust me to provide for you.

Trust me to stand up for you while you serve those you love.

Trust me enough to let them into your heart." 

- Jesus