Thoughts on circulation

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When it gets really hot here, the sun beats down through the layer of smog and just like that we have a green house, when that happens I lose my appetite. I lose the motivation to walk outside to take the trash across the drive way. I lose the will to drive from one part of town to the other. And when I think about it, all I want is a seat in front of a fan and a big gulp of iced tea. Up until now I'm not sure I've really questioned that. Sometimes I get so stuck in my right way of thinking that I keep the windows and doors closed so to not let the heat enter through the cracks. When in actuality the morning air is cooler and crisper than the multi-circulated air blowing through the vents. Until I walk out the door, I believe I'm sitting in the best place for me. Because experience has taught me otherwise. Experience has taught me to stay here because this is good. This is great, actually. So I've locked myself inside thinking I'm playing the game against mother nature well. But what if my resistance of something so natural is keeping me from truth. Experience is a strong teacher, but maybe not the best kind. Maybe each small step, no matter how many have seemed just like it, will one day lead to something real. Something real and really beautiful.

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