Paintings from yesterday for tomorrow

Since moving to the south, I've been happy. Every day is beautiful. I feel safe, loved, appreciated, known - like a cool rainstorm to the wilderness in drought. There are many moments in a single day when I assess the past, present and future. My current assessment is that the present couldn't get much better.

I've been taking my classes. Learning a lot. Rocked my final in EDAD 579 School Finance last Thursday. Now onto a new class: Organizational Leadership. My friend Em has been in town and we've been having unplanned adventures that have taken us all over this ridiculous state. I'm going home to north Idaho in a few weeks to see family and watch Em marry her fiancé. After the wedding I'll be flying out to Cambodia for a couple of weeks to find out how I can help RAWimpact with their schools. When I get back I start fall quarter classes.

There's a lot going on. I'm excited. With each new day I'm excited. But as I start thinking, thinking too much, I'm afraid about the future, afraid to relive the past. Maybe you know that past too. It's nice because it's familiar and it knows us so well. Even if it was hurtful, it's hard to want to move forward, especially when the future looks identical to the past.

I've been listening to this song by Sara Groves that I get right now:

I've been painting pictures of Egypt
Leaving out what it lacks
The future feels so hard
And I want to go back
But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I've learned

The past is so tangible
I know it by heart
Familiar things are never easy
To discard
I was dying for some freedom
But now I hesitate to go
I am caught between the Promise
And the things I know

If it comes too quick
I may not appreciate it
Is that the reason behind all this time in the sand?


I think it's time to take it slow. Let it come. Forget the actions that took place in the past, and remember what we've learned from them and look into the future with hope. Lots of hope. Because that's why we're different. We have a hope for big things. He is the biggest thing. He never changes and we can't lose His love.