The Calendar

January, February, March the months keep flipping past and every time I reluctantly tear off the weeks at the perforation. They go before we have a chance to become acquainted. I tear off each sheet fold it and slide it into the bottom left hand drawer. I suppose I save them hoping for permission to bring them back to life again and make things right. Although they're marked with mistakes, lies, sleepless nights, and brokenness the knowledge that they're neatly folded and filling up the empty space in that black drawer at my own convenience is grotesquely comforting. It's comforting to have it all there to remind me that we weren't created for that. What we were created for we have yet to experience. 

April and May will be filled with boxes, packing, and a house search. 24 will go out with a bang and my life will have a slightly different value. After June the perforated calendar will be put away. Maybe the next one will be a daily planner, because all we can plan for is the very moment we are gifted. Nothing passed and nothing coming. 

"You didn't choose me, I chose you I appointed you to go and produce fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name." John15:16