writer's block
Blogging has been one of the most releasing outlets for me in the past. Now I'm here at camp where I have little time to myself and very little time to think or process and it drains me to the point where I am now fighting a miserable cold. I think a possible solution might be to start blogging again. I pull away because there's a lot of messy stuff going on and I don't like to share my mess with the world wide web, although not many people check here, but there's always that fear of being judged or rejected, especially by the people I know. To intro you into my summer at camp, I'd like to say it's been super fun and the best summer ever. But it's been hard, lonely, and rather frustrating. The theme: Grace Is Enough, isn't enough for me. I'm not sure I like grace, actually, I'm pretty sure I hate it. We hear that we need it and I know without it I'd perish on this earth, but I don't like giving grace. I can't get it if I don't give it, and being the stubborn person that I am, I've found it difficult to let go of what I want or think is right. Hopefully when I get more time I can unpack this a little more, or a lot more. For now here's a picture of my favorite class so far this summer (possibly my favorite class in 8 summers), Junior Camp 1: Swimming class period 1. Victorija, Ruth, Caroline, and Olivia. Sweet, sweet girls!
I love this picture! And I am a diligent reader of this blog, FYI. :) I'd be pumped if I got to read your thoughts more often. Haha I love Olivia! In all her drama! :)
ReplyDeleteThis picture is precious Teens! I feel conflicted with how to feel for you because it's the best summer ever, but it's lonely and frustrating... so I don't know if I should be encouraging or congratulatory :) I'll just say this, I really love you and your thoughts and your depth. Mivoden is lucky to have you there Teener Beaner. And grace is hard. Real, real hard.
ReplyDeleteI really hope I get to hear a follow up on this. Tina I must say that my summer is filled with duality. Part of me realizes that it is the best summer I have had and yet I find myself unsatisfied by what I experience. It's like when you are falling asleep while driving but can't help it. You know that what you are doing is important like life saving important, but you can't pull yourself out of the stuppor that you find yourself in. That probably doesn't make sense, but this is what I have been experiencing. Anyway, I look forward to hearing what you have to say on grace. Thanks for writing as I have had a difficult time in doing so as well.
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