First Woman Something

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. - Helen Keller 

My Philosophy of Education Professor: "You know what I like about you, Tina?" 

Me: Yikes, I have it coming to me now. 

Her: "You are so transparent and so open when you share. Thank you."

My first reaction was quite overwhelming, What? Transparent? Who's got the bricks to patch up the holes?! As I processed her remark for the rest of the day, I awarded myself later that evening for doing something I've never been too good at. But what had I said that made me seem so transparent to her?

We had read about Hildegard of Bingen for our discussion in class. She grew up the tenth child in her family, with a simple, rather poor education and moved into a convent at adolescence. When the Abbess passed away, Hildegard took her place. She had little faith in herself, but as she began reading and growing in her knowledge and education, she began teaching the women. She was the first female to preach for the church, write about her visions from God, and the first female to write books on medicine and history. I doubt she ever saw herself being as successful as she was. It seems like she just woke up one morning from a dream and it didn't matter what happened to her or what people thought, she was going to make that dream happen. She reminded me of myself as a kid, so fiery, not backing down, ready to be the next Lisa Leslie or start the first WNFL. I laugh now, looking back, but there's still that hot coal in me. 

I had mentioned in class that she inspired me. To be the "first woman" something. Women have done a lot of first somethings, I know, but perhaps President? I mentioned to my table mates. I know there's a lot of work to be done to be the first woman anything. Some holes to be unpatched, some mistakes to be made, exposure, courage, learning, danger, risks. 

Whew, those words read to me like India. AND ... I just got news that I'll be going back for spring break ... hopefully staying for the quarter if all goes well. Maybe becoming the first woman something.