Roll With It

I walked into the classroom at Milton Stateline School today in complete disarray. I sat down and attacked the stack of papers waiting to be graded. I'm taking Elementary Education at the University and I feel like a I'm a 3rd grader, learning nothing except how to think like a 3rd grader, but it might be cheaper to go to the local elementary school if this is really what I want. I was laying awake in bed last night, tossing and turning about my decisions and my options. My classes are dumbing me! I can't do math like I used to. I don't know the basic formulas from physics. Anatomy and physiology has me beat. Psychological theories are a figment of my imagination. And I'm craving an intellectual British literature reading. My hands are tied and there's nothing I can do. I can't even get smart? I'm angry about it. So angry that I almost cried multiple times today. As I sat in my fuming fury the 3rd & 4th grade teacher was continuing on with a parent teacher conference. I over heard him talking to a mother of one 4th grade boy. The mother was asking about her son's respectfulness towards the adults. She said that since the divorce her son has been acting out in disrespect. After she left I asked the teacher about the situation. He said that 1/3 of his students come from divorced homes. The other 1/3 are here on scholarships with terrible family lives. So that means the last 1/3 comes from a family with two parents that love and support them in school and extracurricular activities? (lets cross our fingers anyway, maybe knock on wood as well) It tears me up inside. I'm becoming brain dead. My students are hurting. 

And I'm suppose to roll with it.