shouts of joy

You know those days when you feel invincible? If you wanted to take over the world, you probably could... I love those days! But then there are those days when all you have to do is attend 3 classes, meet with a professor and kill the spider in the corner, but it's all out of the question, impossible! I want to feel invincible. I want to be invincing.... so everyone around me can feel invincible too. Who knows how many worlds we could conquer! "An invincible determination can accomplish almost anything and in this lies the great distinction between great men and little men." - Thomas Fuller

Like this, only with lots of snow and the rest of the driveway  leading from the main road to the gate. It's Sunday. I woke up at 6:30.  Why?  I can't sleep when there's unfinished business. I made my way through the grayness to open the blinds and saw snow, snow, and more snow... 4 inches of fresh snow over the slushed ice. After my worship I pulled on my boots, a hat, some gloves and my new nano puffy patagonia jacket (my favorite part about this winter). I've never minded shoveling, actually I like it because you can't think about anything else, just snow removal. As a born and raised Coloradan, I have lots of experience shoveling snow, so this is nothing new. When my parents were at my house in College Place for Thanksgiving they bought me a shovel and I was excited for the chance to finally use it. So I began at my front door and made my way to the front gate.  Blasted plastic shovel , it was super flimsy and took a lot of inner core to blaze a thin path th...

Man, I wish I could sleep. I've averaged fewer hours of sleep this break than a regular week at school. I've got the crazy butterflies, the kind you get when something big is happening soon, only problem is nothing big is happening. Two nights ago I called to India and talked to my family. Jenny is getting busy with her wedding cake business, she said she needs her American daughter to come do the frosting, I always loved sitting on the floor and icing the big cakes. Subash had just come home from the Sunday morning market with some carrots and bamboo shoot, he reminded me of the time we made bamboo fry and someone accidently confused the Garo 'bamboo shoot' for 'bamboo children', and so we laughed until we cried. Then I talked with Pomchi, their only blood daughter, she was home on break from her school 4 hours away in Tura, where she's finishing her 12th standard and she's so excited to see what the f...

I made it to break, I'm alive, maybe near death, but still breathing. When I drove down the driveway last night the snow flakes were falling and when I woke up this morning the trees were glistening white. I had been eating and drinking this past week so that I might live to see this moment, my house with open arms to embrace me. So I could escape the fast life of a working college student. I got an email last week from a former WWU student, currently working on a PhD at Auburn University, who recently returned from a year in India where he lived my life as a teacher at RAA, only missing me by a year. When I went back to visit last spring I met him and we became fast friends, sharing stories and secrets about the lands treasures. When I read his email I felt comforted, pleased to know that there was someone who understood. He asked me about the symptoms of my reverse culture shock, if I had experienced it, and what I had done about it. So in a r...

Work began the same as always yesterday. At 12:30 the kids come in from lunch recess and we do handwriting. I generally sit at the back table with Loki, a thin, athletic blonde boy with a severe attention deficit disorder, and Zach, a much shorter and thinner boy, who sports a retro mullet and suffers from dyslexia. We work together on handwriting for at least 1 hour every day at the back table. They just so happen to be best friends. When I give one of them laps, the other begs to have the same number, or else it's just "not fair." Same as always, Loki and Zach stayed back to continue handwriting while the rest of the class went to the computer lab for typing class. I moved to the desk to enter grades into the computer when Loki asked me if I would come back next year. "Of course," I said without hesitation. "Good." It was silent for a while. Then Zach asked, "Teacher Kristina, will you be here the next year after that?" "Maybe. But yo...

It's my favorite to pull down the warm and freshly dried clothes from off the clothes line on a warm and sunny day. It's proof that they really do get clean. They can dry out. Eventually they do come down from the line and have purpose again.  Boy, it feels good!

"How near to good is what is WILD!"  - Thoreau Over the past several years, as I've grown into this feminine figure, I've pulled myself away from good things. Some mornings, I look in the mirror and feel guilty for not looking like the girl on the magazine,  What's wrong with you? You need to exercise more.  Or when I'm sitting in class and I don't understand what everyone else understands, Ah, you're so dumb.   I'm critical, super critical of myself. Plus, I'm a sucker for guilt. Vacation me with guilt and you're guaranteed to get your way. Some days I don't even want to leave my house and if I have to... please, maybe nobody will see me today. Today I was reflecting on the days before this was a problem. The days when I would cry, not because of my lack in looks, brains or style, but because the boys wouldn't let a girl play football. The days when dad would get home from work and I'd run out to his truck in my flowered span...

I want to be the bull chasing the red with passion. To be the matador, a fearless fighter.  To be a bride married to amazement. A bridegroom that takes the world in his arms.  To melt into a river and reach all ends of the earth. Or the rock that endures the crashing waves.  The leaves that prove wind is real And the sun that warms a cold body. I don't want to leave this earth with a sigh, In a rage of fear, or hidden among the shadows.  I'm not a visitor, earth. I'm here to live.

Seize life!  Eat bread with gusto. Drink wine with a robust heart. Oh yes, I take pleasure in your  pleasure! Dress festively every morning.  Don't skimp on colors and scarves. Enjoy (to the full) life with the spouse you love Each and everyday of your unpredictable life. Each day is my gift to you. Make the most of each one! Whatever turns up, grab it and do it. And heartily!  This is your last and only chance at it.  Ecclesiastes 9:7-10 

I walked into the classroom at Milton Stateline School today in complete disarray. I sat down and attacked the stack of papers waiting to be graded. I'm taking Elementary Education at the University and I feel like a I'm a 3rd grader, learning nothing except how to think like a 3rd grader, but it might be cheaper to go to the local elementary school if this is really what I want. I was laying awake in bed last night, tossing and turning about my decisions and my options. My classes are dumbing me! I can't do math like I used to. I don't know the basic formulas from physics. Anatomy and physiology has me beat. Psychological theories are a figment of my imagination. And I'm craving an intellectual British literature reading. My hands are tied and there's nothing I can do. I can't even get smart? I'm angry about it. So angry that I almost cried multiple times today. As I sat in my fuming fury the 3rd & 4th grade teacher was continuing on with a parent t...