Without Guilt

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Fixed in the timeline of my childhood is a great deal of confusion and guilt. If it took longer than 10 seconds to decide if I wanted regular milk or chocolate milk it was too long. If I couldn't choose between the yellow or the blue shoes I needed to make a decision, now. If I changed my outfit 5 times before leaving for school, it was 4 outfits too many. I learned the importance of promptness and if that wasn't possible guilt was. Guilt has been a burden for far too long. Yesterday I was talking with a very inspiring camp staff. Somehow we began talking about school and that I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life but I needed to figure it out before applying to WWU in the fall. She asked me why I needed to figure it out so quickly. Well, hello! Obviously I need to make a plan so I'm not wasting time or money, also I would like to get rid of this guilt. She asked me if I've prayed about it. Well, hello again! I've been praying about it for years! Then she said something I never want to forget. She told me that God wants me exactly where I'm at, not to feel guilty, but that He has a plan for me being undecided with my future and if I decided something against His will today I wouldn't be experiencing His best tomorrow. I will end up where I need to be or next to someone who needs me. God has a plan! So if I go to school this fall without a scripted plan, it's where God wants me and I'm not guilty about that a single bit!

Comments

  1. janetJuly 12, 2010 at 11:59 AM

    I am glad you were able to let go of the guilt. I have found that getting rid of guilt frees you up, and opens up places in your mind and heart to help you KNOW (God type knowing and sensing) things you didn't think or feel before. And clarity comes. So listen to that inner voice as you go about your day, resting in the fact that He's able to take whatever you do and make it good. Really.
    So good to see you yesterday...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Carley TrueloveJuly 14, 2010 at 9:13 AM

    I'm finding that the older I get, the more I worry about, letting people down, or not being successful enough. I think these are sucky cultural things we have to deal with.

    Its hard to make the "right" decisions about everything in your life. We never really know if its the right direction, the right turn, the right job, the right school, the right boyfriend. But at least we don't have to know everything, cause it all works out somehow. Sometimes I doubt, but I don't doubt that God has it all under control somehow. He has my future under control even though I have no clue whats going to happen or what all my next moves will be. The sun still comes up everyday. He must know what He's doing.

    Don't feel guilty. Live it up the best you can, cause your probably doing more awesome than you think you are.

    ReplyDelete
  3. HillaryJuly 16, 2010 at 4:30 PM

    ooohhh I love this! Thanks so much for sharing. I needed this! I always feel like I am behind, now I know I am exactly where God wants me. Wow, thanks KV, really. :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. KatiJuly 17, 2010 at 9:15 PM

    Tina,
    This brings tears to my eyes. This is what I even needed to hear. We need to talk! soon.

    I love and miss you lots!

    Kati

    ReplyDelete

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