Tonight I listened to a friend speak for vespers. One thing he said, that really got to me, was this: "We don't hang out with our best friend out of guilt, if we did it wouldn't be fun." Yes, this is true. Why then do I feel guilty when I don't spend time with God. Why would God want to spend time with me if I only hang out with him because I don't want to feel guilty later? I don't know why or how the switch can flip so quickly. One week God and I are best friends and when we hang out, it's awesome! The next week I get too busy, there's no time, and I feel guilty. Why would I want to be in a forced relationship where guilt is the reason to continue? Listening to my friend speak tonight reminded me of my fairytale relationship with God I had this last summer at camp. I would wake up every morning before anybody else. The cool, fresh mountain air, the lake covered with fog, and the sun tucked behind the trees. I would sit and wait for God's voice, while I watched the sun slowly bring the lake to life. I can't describe the power of that moment, every day. My heart does flips just thinking about it. God painted that beautiful picture, for ME, everyday. What a pursuit! I'm ready to go back, I'm ready to love spending time with Him, not because I feel guilty or because I need Him to heal me, but because we're best friends and that's what best friends do!
yes. yes. yes. it's resonating. hey, no matter what i say, let's go rock climbing like 3 times this week. for short bits.
ReplyDeleteSo does that mean you are going back to mivoden?
ReplyDeleteand I quote, "What? You feel guilty?? No, no, no. Don't feel guilty Tina. There is no need. That would be silly. I love you whether you hang out with me or not. Nothing you can do will ever change that. You are the apple of my eye. I've written your name on the palms of my hands. I'm stoked that you even want to hang out with me! When you do, it makes my day!"
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