When you need to toss a penny in exchange for some hope

It's late, some might say it's early, but my bedtime was hours ago and I'm so okay with that. This Sabbath was full. One of my favorite friends, Emily, is back in town and this morning we had coffee while sharing ideas about marriage, family, and weddings as she prepares to become a Mrs. My heart is so full for her. We laughed, cried and sipped our coffee then headed off to ReLive, the young adult church service. I hope married people are still allowed to attend the young peoples ReLive church. I know it's silly, but I ruminated on that thought today. I think they will. After church and a fun conversation at lunch about traveling we went to the beach and played in the saltwater until we were out of breath from fighting against the strong currents. We played some volleyball, a new game I'm learning called spikeball and talked about friends and family and the possible events of our ten year high school reunion that will take place in a couple short years. Tonight I'm tired as I crawl into bed after washing the sands grit and grime from my scalp and the salty residue from my face. There's a lot on my heart tonight as I prepare to pray before slipping away into a deep sleep. Sometimes I doubt that God knows what's best. And a lot of times I "wait patiently" for some kind of sign to renew my doubt. But as began to pray tonight a song came on that I was not familiar with by Ellie Holcomb called, "I Place My Hope (Psalm 25)" I think it might become a new theme. Maybe we don't always need a big flashing sign to point us in our direction. The lyrics go like this:

The troubles of my heart they're tearing me apart
How I need your saving hand to grant me a new start
Lonely and afraid, I call upon your name
Save me from my enemies and cover all my shame

I will lift my eyes from this fragile life
For you will rescue me, You are Prince Of Peace
And I will lift my soul to you who makes things whole
Oh, mercy love of old, in You I place my hope

So guide me in your truth, be my strong refuge
Oh, forgive my doubting heart and lead me back to you
Help me to believe Your love is all I need
Even when the storm is strong, You will provide for me

Even in my darkest place
There's a promise I will claim
Those whose hope is in Your grace
They will never be ashamed

The words are so real. I know a deep place inside me where this song resonates loudly. There's a lot going on right now. There's more light than I've seen for a very long time. And I'm so grateful I have a Lord to sing this song to, who will understand each feeling behind each word and because of Him I have a place to put my hope.