Sometimes it happens like this

I love it when words start boiling in my heart. There's so much to be said, yet only so many words in my compacted vocabulary. Words come when I run without worrying who's watching, how much time I have or what my pace is. This morning was like that. The crystalized fields were reflecting the sun at 7:30AM, and seemed to be for my eyes only. In moments like that I'm reminded of the words from a TED talk by Elizabeth Gilbert ... 

the American Poet Ruth Stone told me once that when she was growing up in rural Virginia, she would be out working in the fields, and she said she would feel and hear a poem coming at her from over the landscape. And she said it was like a thunderous train of air. And it would come barreling down at her over the landscape. And she felt it coming, because it would shake the earth under her feet. She knew that she had only one thing to do at that point, and that was to, in her words, “run like hell.” And she would run like hell to the house and she would be getting chased by this poem, and the whole deal was that she had to get to a piece of paper and a pencil fast enough so that when it thundered through her, she could collect it and grab it on the page. 

Sometimes I don't run fast enough though, and for me that's okay. Today was one of those days. It came and went like a train departing from the station right on schedule, maybe a little ahead of schedule. 

Currently I'm drinking a cup of coffee (with creamer, something special) this morning, staring out the window into the sun that has melted the crystals from the field back into the ground. There's a lot to do. But I'm taking this moment to share with friends and family the next stage of life as far as I know it. 

I'll be finished with my BS in Elementary Education in less than two months. Finally, I know. And for now, that's all I know when it comes to a future career, that I will be marching with a black cap and gown on a sunny (in my heart at least) Sunday on June 16, 2013. A success and a scare.

I also know that somehow the love I have for summer camp has been watered and nurtured back to life and I'm excited to announce my return to Camp MiVoden as girls director. The past 3 years I've neatly packed up my things and locked up the doors behind myself after finishing camp, but just as I start to walk away God builds another door. As I follow Him through with an uncertain step He molds me every time a little bit more, and now I'm not sure I even recognize myself. 

Somedays it seems the roller coaster I'm riding barely has the power to climb the steep slope and then it stalls at the top and I anxiously await the fall, wondering if this ride is safe or if it will crash into a billion pieces at the bottom, where I'll lose it all. But I have to remember there's a super smart and super strong guy in charge of this ridiculously joyful ride. 

Kandice, Kati, and me getting off the roller coaster.