It’s that moment when the happenings around create just the right mixture. Those feels from the deepest parts, thousand foot trenches of soul, begin making their debut — surfacing to the smoothed surface. It only took one word to achieve a maximum heart rate and tears that boil over the brim. But there’s no dark trench to sink into, instead there’s a spotlight, magnifying the moment. When teaching such fragile lives, my subconscious has made its attempt to keep them protected by shutting off the switch to vulnerability. If they don’t know about the power of our emotions, perhaps they can be “strong” adolescents and adults. This locking up of such things has revealed dire consequences. A separation. Of self, others, and worse of all my Maker. It’s been so long since these feels have seen the light. But this training, it requires all of me: the disappointments, the failures, heartache, and brokenness. Only when it’s all out there, will I reach the summit I longing admire fr...
A poster I saw at Pike's Place this weekend. I'm SO ready to fly there. Carpe Diem "Be happy, happy, happy, And seize the day of pleasure" - Robert Frost I was talking with my friend Eric, whom I co-direct programming with for MiVoden, this weekend on our trip to Seattle. He was talking about looking at everything for the first time, really living in the present. He challenged me to go outside and look at nature without thinking about what I've known or been taught about it from the past, or what I think for the future, but to look at it for what I see now. I love that. So, today I went for a bike ride and looked at everything for the first time. The only problem is that there are too many things, so to prevent any possible anxiety I quickly looked at the Blue Jay flying past me. I wondered why God created him with such a long tail, why his colors were a mix of white, blue and black, or how many feathers did he have. Just really looking at him. There's ...
"How near to good is what is WILD!" - Thoreau Over the past several years, as I've grown into this feminine figure, I've pulled myself away from good things. Some mornings, I look in the mirror and feel guilty for not looking like the girl on the magazine, What's wrong with you? You need to exercise more. Or when I'm sitting in class and I don't understand what everyone else understands, Ah, you're so dumb. I'm critical, super critical of myself. Plus, I'm a sucker for guilt. Vacation me with guilt and you're guaranteed to get your way. Some days I don't even want to leave my house and if I have to... please, maybe nobody will see me today. Today I was reflecting on the days before this was a problem. The days when I would cry, not because of my lack in looks, brains or style, but because the boys wouldn't let a girl play football. The days when dad would get home from work and I'd run out to his truck in my flowered span...
These are COOL!
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