--> This morning I drove toward the sun like a moth flies toward the lamp. I was reminded how gently the sun comes out everyday, so slow and patient. I lifted my hands up as I sang a song that has been my theme song lately, Brokenness Aside by All Sons and Daughters (if you haven't heard it, just Youtube it real quick). My word for the week is Gentle. I’ve challenged the young ladies in our Friday lunch book club to choose 1 word every week. 1 word in which we independently attempt to become more of every day. 1 word that might be challenging to put on every morning, but might add a sparkle to our wardrobe. They choose such hard words every week – Vulnerable, Inviting, Engage. The experiences they share when we meet every Friday are so fun. I’ve been so inspired by them. As the weeks begin their own dwindling spiral to a cliff’s edge, I have begun dwindling toward the edge of insanity. My mind cannot stop, I wake up at night recalculating the 1 million and 2 thing...
The year 2014 has contributed much to my education of the "real" world. Life in the "real" world is hard. There are too many decisions to make. Too many plans to finish. And far too much heartbreak. I'm rather disappointed. In fact, I'm so shockingly disappointed, that I'd consider calling it anger. I'm angry about all of these disappointments. It just doesn't seem fair sometimes. The other week my counselor told me I need to let myself feel angry and upset to prevent melt downs. This is practice. My disappointments anger me. I'm disappointed because I thought teaching would be more social and less isolating. I'm disappointed because my best friend and I don't speak anymore. I'm disappointed because I thought I was where God wanted me. I've learned a lot about disappointments though. I'm reading from a book I received from The One Project last month. In it Pastor Alex Bryan shares a section on The Great Disappoint...
Sun, are you coming?... after a late night I'm watching a beautiful sunrise. Waiting is hard. The silhouetted Blue Mountains are becoming lighter and lighter. The sun should peek out any second. The house is filling with light causing my eyes to squint out the window toward the East. We had a girls sleep over last night. 12 of us! Each girl, such a close friend to me. I've never had so many awesome girl friends in my life! And never have I had as many sleepovers in my life, as I have in the past 4 months. Sun, I'm still waiting for you! Are you coming this morning? Did you rise behind the forest of black trees? Am I at the right window? I was talking with a friend the other day about how life is so different after an SM experience. She said, "Am I depressed? Or maybe I'm just not an extravert anymore? I lose energy in big groups. I need to get away to have my alone time. I'm different and I don't understand why. And nobody understands me. It's overwhel...
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