shouts of joy

We don't need a reason to pause and reflect on our humanness. Yet, maybe we do. Because it is important. If we're not searching our hearts and cleaning out the dust how will we see out the window? Or invite someone in for a cup of tea? I'm aware that as a society, we function by means of techlations (a term I've invented for relationships in the form of technology). We can't possibly sit in silence for 30 seconds while we wait for a prescription to be filled, no, instead we are building stronger techlations through hundreds of social media opportunities. Might as well move to a hot-spot cave where we can focus on our techlations and not feel so burdened by external (real-life) relations. In fact, my heart is heavy because I'm not sure what happened to real-life relations. I'm not sure why I can't find a face to engage when walking through the grocery store. I'm saddened when I see parents on their phones while their kids run unruly and seemingly unsu...

Isn't it true how we study a bud of a rose, so eagerly awaiting it's unfolding, singing our praises with oohing and awing, so willingly tending to it's every leaf, ever anticipating it's blooming because we believe in what we cannot see; it will become a full and lovely thing. When it blooms in all its glory we take pride. How then does such a beautiful thing fade; slowly, slowly, slowly we look past it all, forgetting the anticipated efforts, the desire for such loveliness and the pride in what we've nurtured. Until one day we notice something amiss, and again we yearn, with much less than a second thought, for that fullness and beauty; a fullness and beauty that was never really ours.

The other night a group of us played a game that I'm all too familiar with. The messy tug-of-war battle begins in me every time the playing cards are handed out. The Ace cards representing each member of the murdering mafia, the Queen card is in the care of the one and only Dr. Quinn, the King card lies in the hands of the brave police officer, and every other numbered card signifies each misunderstood citizen. In the past I've been known to open the floodgates of tears during a stressful situation, or release steam out my ears when I've been betrayed. It's a game of bluffing and deceiving, and essentially inviting immorality into a circle of chums. A game I have yet to determine it's value. It's invigorating, no doubt, but afterwards I feel cheated, betrayed, violated, disrespected and absolutely no sort of unity or love towards my fellow groupies. But this time these feelings which erupted through my motions, language, and facial expressions seemed much too fa...