shouts of joy

Don't you know we want to laugh We want to laugh from our bellies till we cry. We also want to cry, Cry so hard together that our tears become a single stream. Do you know that we want to ask questions Asking questions to understand the words that were never said. Did you know our dreams make a braid of bright, bold, and daring Tightly woven into a contagious flu? We want to embrace for no reason and every reason.  We want to talk about anything and nothing. Didn't you know we want to ache, We want to know loss and emptiness Because we want to also know joy in full. Did you know we want to make noise, go out with a bang, But we want to be still and hear the beating of our own drum. What we need and what we want we don't know,  But we know we are creatures craving contradiction. 

A stranger, except for his stance and eyes reflecting in my rear view mirror red, blue and white flashing lights, a beating in my chest and there were so many red flags.  A sight so faint, familiar in a dream still reality in my veins recirculating like used library books ancient and neglected  a system of routine We're kids hide-n-seeking for fun love waiting for that affirmedness who will ride a roller coaster  over every bump in the seat eating pop rocks that make us laugh But we're adults trying to fit the mold desiring complexity, mystery, proficiency selfish promises and so many words explaining nothing and something with mere hope for approval One glance at a stranger  clear eyes of promises broken uncertain his stance   fixed in a rearview mirror  is enough. 

I forget things. Some things I wish I could forget, but can't. Then there are the things I wish I could always remember, like dreams and answers to prayer. Lately I've been remembering the pain that comes from loving and losing. I've forgotten how my prayers have been answered and that my dreams are coming true. I've forgotten about the times I've vowed to risk it all for whatever the case: adventure, service, passions, devotion and even love. I've forgotten how I've loved and been hurt, loved and been hurt, loved and been hurt and healed every time. I've forgotten how the impossibles become possible. I've forgotten the ones I admire and their stories of heartache, loss, rejection, brokenness and failures that lead them to their love, commitment, perseverance, strength and successes. Wow, how I've forgotten. Today I spent several hours over lunch with my friends Troy and Nick, good buddies from high school. We caught up at a small Lebanese jo...

I appreciate the act of acceptance. Just makes you feel bigger than before, brighter than before, like you have something to give. When you encounter a funny tattoo on a girls leg, and soon enough her smile relates to yours and the tattoo is part of a unique story that becomes your own and acceptance happens. When the truth of his story is revealed and before you can say another word you know by the depth in his eyes that his past is another life which he hardly recognizes and acceptance happens. When you sit down and focus on the eccentric young woman across from you and learn that her heart is more eccentric than her funky dress and layers of jewelry and that she speaks 4 languages to teach mothers in Africa about health and survival and somehow acceptance happens. Somehow the stories behind the frames can mold our perspectives. So often I feel that our outward appearances are overlooked and sadly what is stirring in our hearts is masked by the makeup, jewelry, colorful dresses, shap...

Here we are at #teachersummercamp. Two of my teacher friends, Sonya and Chelsea, also took summer classes this summer. Sonya is a teaching principal at a small school in Oakhurst, CA and Chelsea is a teacher/chaplain at a school in Sacramento, CA. They are some of the best teachers I know with huge hearts and a passion for teaching about Jesus. I have enjoyed our #teachersummercamp adventures even though Sonya was at another campus several hours away, we've kept in touch. And every Monday we share/exchange articles, YouTube videos, or stories that we found entertaining or intriguing. These two women have been lifesavers over the past year. We started #teachersummercamp 6 weeks ago and have finally finished. They will start school again in just a couple of weeks. I'm glad that they are allowing me to stay a member in the teaching club even though I will be taking classes this year and substituting instead of teaching full-time. They bring sunshine to a cloudy day. Bes...

Balancing is an act for those who practice it right. Because we know that practice doesn't make perfect, but practice makes permanent. And what we know today, is that nothing is permanent. Permanence is a thing of the days before the unexpected. Before two towers collapsed in the great NYC. Before beautiful, young girls were kidnapped from their families and sold to strangers. Before the deadly waves of Allison, Sandy, or Katrina tore us apart. Before our unity broke. Maybe this act of balancing has been misunderstood. Perhaps we spend our lives searching for a perfect balance of purpose, love, and put-togetherness that only disappears as quickly as the ocean foam that disintegrates as it blows across the sand. Balance makes me feel safer than anything. Solid. Peaceful. Accountable. Responsible. Beautiful. Worthy. Unfortunately, I can't quite absorb that balance, nor what it feels like to be any of those things that come with standing in one place on just one foot, while the ...

She said, "I was too afraid to change." And he answered, " We are afraid to change because we think that, after so much effort and sacrifice, we know our present world. We see that the mountains always stay in the same place. We see that fully grown trees, when transplanted usually die. So we say: "We want to be like the mountains and the trees. Solid and respectable." Even though, during the night, we wake up thinking: "I wish I was like the birds, who can visit Damascus and Baghdad and come back whenever they want to." Or: "I wish I was like the wind, for no one knows where it comes from nor where it goes, and it can change direction without ever having to explain why." It's nice to have dreams that we will have plenty of time in the future to do our traveling, and that, one day, we will travel. It cheers us up because we know that we are capable of doing more than we do. Dreaming carries no risks. The dangerous thing is trying...

I  believe  that in this very fragmented world we live exists goodness, peace and love. I  believe  that there isn't a more secure companion than the broken heart, but there is no better counteract-ant than a trusty side-kick with widespread arms. I  believe  in a single ray's undeclared revelation through sunrise.  And that even the dullest roses and lilies will turn any frown into a smile.  I  believe  the mountain top is the drawbridge to heaven. And geese are more reliable than any GPS. I  believe  sleep and water are the best cure for any ailment. I believe muscle exhibits larger numbers on the scale than body fat, therefore I am strong. I believe I am fearfully and wonderfully made, great are His plans. An open door to a closet whispers secrets, and any bathroom countertop can be read like a textbook.  True love doesn't draw lines, it erases them.  Emotions are the col...